STOP SELF-SABOTAGING: Why What You Think is helping You is Actually Stopping you from Real Success and True Love – YOU ARE WORTHY

selfsabotage

Do you often hear yourself say:- ‘When I have (sorted out something, reached this goal, proved myself, made this amount of money, bought this, moved here etc) then I will be/can have the relationship/love/success…’. I used to tell myself that ‘once I had my business running successfully then I can have the relationship and that I am just so busy and that it would be too much of a distraction to have a man in my life.’ Guess what, that was 5 years ago and it was only less than a year ago that I changed this story. I was single for 4 years constantly sabotaging the possibility of love because of this one story. I am probably busier now than I was back then. Am I open to love now? Absolutely. Because now I have shifted that story to a new belief that ‘the right relationship will actually help me in what I want to achieve’. Because of this new belief I also now attract men that that help me learn and grow. Even if it hasn’t become a love relationship the learning and growth helps me be happy and achieve success. In fact this blog post has been inspired by a man that constantly challenges me!  I also now feel that I am worthy of love and happiness and this is what was really going on underneath. My story was created because I didn’t feel worthy or good enough. I was simply justifying my feeling of unworthiness.

I used to say ‘once I had studied this course or reached a certain goal then I would be able to be successful in my business and then I would be able to have love.’ But then I would get opportunities thrown at me and of course I had to take them all up. Although I felt excited about them and what was possible what I realised they were often a distraction. Taking up all these amazing opportunities was actually sabotaging my success because I became so busy with everything it took me away from what really was important and what would actually make me really happy.  What did I really want underneath it all? I wanted love and success. I wanted real happiness. I was too busy trying to find happiness in all this stuff that I forgot that happiness wasn’t something you find. It is something you be.

All these reasons, or should I say excuses as to why we can’t have love and success yet are BULLSHIT… Because that day is never going to come. Once you achieve that thing you needed to do first, then you will find another reason as to why you can’t have what you really want yet. All the stories and excuses are actually just to protect you from your fears – fear of getting hurt, fear of success, fear of failure, fear of the unknown.

What if you met the love of your life and your fear was getting hurt so you pushed them away or sabotaged the relationship? You would tell yourself you are ‘too busy’ and you are ‘not ready’ / ‘it’s not the right time’.  More bullshit. What if they were the one person that would help you grow and learn so you could let go of all your stories and your fears and have that amazing soul-connected love. What are your real values? Do you want a relationship and loving family? How would it feel to be with the love of your life? What would that make possible for you? Well, guess what, you just pushed it away so you could keep being ‘busy’. Not having to feel anything. Choosing not to feel love because underneath that you are ultimately afraid of pain. Being ‘busy’ or ‘not ready’ really means ‘I am afraid’. Because if you weren’t you would embrace the opportunity of true love and you would push yourself to succeed.

What if you had the opportunity to be super successful in doing what you really love? You probably don’t know what that’s like because it’s the fear of the unknown. What if you do step up and then everyone knows you? What if they judge you? What if they don’t like you? What if, what if, what if… No more what if’s…Let go of your Excuses, stories, blah blah blah…. How much longer are you going to let these run your life? To keep you from being happy and having a life you really love!

If you asked me if I was afraid of being hurt 2 years ago I would have told you ‘of course not’ I would have said ‘I’m just not ready for love, it’s not the right time, I just too busy focusing on my business to have a relationship right now.’  Now I look back and can see that in fact I was sabotaging all of my relationships. Same repeat patterns with men – using men as a numbing, which meant seeing so many different men if it didn’t work out I would have another to make me feel good so I didn’t have to feel ‘not good enough’. I wouldn’t allow myself to get attached by pushing away the ones I actually felt a connection with. I made up so many reasons as to why I couldn’t have love. I would tell myself that same story that a man would just be a distraction from my work and my success. Then I was sabotaging my success by doing so many different things keeping myself ‘busy’. On the outside I looked like a success and inspiration to people and in fact that made me feel good. But it wasn’t real. It was all this ‘busy-ness’ that was distracting me from what underneath I really wanted. True love and real success – I didn’t want to appear successful and happy – I wanted to BE it.

Self-Sabotage-Modern-Day-Wise-Woman

The truth was that I was afraid….  afraid of getting close to anyone, afraid of getting hurt. And underneath the fear was a deep feeling of unworthiness. I didn’t feel worthy of love. I didn’t feel worthy of success. I didn’t feel like I deserved happiness. Underneath the belief was that what if I did meet the love of my life and I wasn’t good enough for him and he doesn’t want me? What if he doesn’t love me as much as I love him? What if I am not pretty enough, not talented enough, not smart enough….and so on.  So I told myself I would have to make sure that I become successful first and then I will be good enough and then I will be ready. And then I will be worthy of love…then he could love me. Right?  WRONG. That’s not success. That’s actually sabotaging real success and it was stopping me from being truly happy. I needed to feel my own worthiness.

So what do we do then? How do we stop sub-consciously sabotaging ourselves? We look at what is really going on underneath. What is the real fear playing out? Most often you will find it is ultimately because you don’t feel worthy of love and success. That you don’t feel like you deserve it. That you don’t feel good enough. I know I say this time and time again but it’s because it is the only way… the path to real love and happiness comes from within. You must fill yourself up with love first to heal these fears. Then you will feel worthy. Then you will feel good enough. Then you will naturally attract the love and success that you really do want. Then you will BE happy. It doesn’t matter if you feel ready or not…the greatest love and happiness happens when you least expect it, so be open to it otherwise you might look back and think ‘what if’ and run all your stories and excuses over again and again. Do you want to look back in another 10, 20, 30 years looking at how your stories having been running your life. Or do you want it now??  Ask yourself these questions:

  • What is it that I really want out of life?
  • What reasons/excuses am I using to not have this right now?
  • What are the fears behind those stories?
  • What are you really afraid of?  What’s the real emotion behind those fears?  (For example feeling unworthy)

Now that you know what emotion is behind this you know what you need to work on healing by filling yourself up with your own love. For those of you who are not sure where to start, I have put together a one page 7 Steps in 7 Days to Self-Love which will give you a starting point – 7 Steps to Self-Love.

I constantly have to keep myself in check and  have recently been reminded of this after talking to a friend who has also been in this space.  I could see in him what I had been doing to myself. Of course this is because soul connections are our mirrors and they help us see in ourselves what we don’t feel ready to see – both good and bad! But this is what helps us to learn and grow to be able to fill ourselves up with love and heal ourselves.

I had been looking into doing some more workshops on Sacred Sexuality and it was perfect timing that I had this realisation again. Sacred Sexuality is something I feel drawn to do and I don’t like to do anything half-assed. So I asked myself… what is my priority in my work right now? My priority is to get my book written and develop these women’s healing and coaching programs. I knew that if I started delving into sacred sexuality right now that my energy would have been taken away from that. It was one of my old stories of ‘I need to do this training before I can be successful in this area’.  I wasn’t valuing what I already have to teach. I wasn’t valuing myself. I wasn’t feeling worthy of success. And as I think this blog post proves, yes I do have the knowledge and I am worthy! And you reading this, yes you! You are worthy too!

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Cutting Cords from Ex Lovers, Partners and Friends – Learning to Forgive

To help move forward in our own healing it is important that we cut cords to releasing toxic energy related to anyone we have had any type of love relationship with.  A lot of difficult relationships come in to serve a karmic purpose and we will come together to learn lessons until we have an outcome of forgiveness. Forgiveness is the only way we can fully move on, which will then help attract friends and lovers into our lives in that are in our highest good and help us be ready for our true soulmate. As long as we hold on to anger, blame or unforgiveness we are like magnets to the same person or the same types of people. This is why we often have the same repeat patterns in relationships. We must learn the lesson, to forgive, cut cords and let go. Even if the person did something to us that seems unforgivable it only hurts ourselves and it can also hurt our children if we hang on to that unforgiveness, it doesn’t hurt the person that hurts us.  We can cut cords from those who are in our lives and want better relationships with, such as family, remembering that we are only cutting negative energy cords, cords of true love cannot be cut.

Please know that everything happens in divine perfect order. It is important that we forgive ourselves for not paying attention to any red flag warnings. As we forgive ourselves we come to the understanding that we were doing the best at the time and that ultimately this was a growth experience. We learn from it and we do not have to repeat it as long as we can let go of everything, keeping only the lessons and the love that will always be there. Have compassion on the role that the person played in your life and have gratitude for the lessons they brought to you even though they were painful lessons and any other gifts such as children they brought into your life. Keep cutting the cords until you feel you have got to the point of sending blessings to the person, wishing them well and truly meaning it in your heart, then you know that you have healed. Also when we see things that remind of us of the person such as our children, or a song and not be triggered by that, then we know that we have healed.

I offer cord cutting in my healing sessions as people can often have neck, back and shoulder pains from cords that have been attached for years. By energetically cutting the cords it helps release not only emotional pain, but also the physical. It is really amazing how this works!  You can do cord cutting for yourself through the below exercise and video:

CORD CUTTING EXERCISE:

Find a quiet space where you cannot be interrupted.  Close your eyes and ask Archangel Michael to vacuum you completely of judgements, regrets, guilt, resentment and disappointment and to cut away any other energy that does not serve your highest good.

Now it is time to forgive the person… Say to the person in your mind ‘Thank you, thank you, I love you, I forgive you, I hold no unforgiveness back, I am free and you are free, goodbye.’

Then ask Archangel Raphael to go deep into your heart to heal you with emerald green divine light.

Ask Archangel Raphael to then coat you with his green healing energy where the cords had been.(This energy feels thick and cool to me. Very soothing)

Then ask St Germain to bring to you his violet flame of sacred transformation and burn away from all your physical and spiritual bodies all that does not belong and does not serve you or the Light. See a beautiful violet flame surrounding you. This flame is cool and does not burn but transmutes the negative energy into positive energy.

When you feel this is complete, ask St. Germain to either return the positive energy to you or gift it to Mother Earth.

Now call on Michael to vacuum and take away any residue energies and to bring it to the 5th dimension to be transformed into Light. Put the vaccuum thru the crown chakra down to the feet then vaccuum all thru the body sucking out all negative residues and entities. send them out the crown chakra away to love and light. After this get Michael to send down his light thru the same pathways.

Now call out to the Universe and ask that any energy you have given to anyone, any thought or emotion or event from any time or any place be sent back into your body. Have a sense of strong, positive energy flowing back to you, into your auric field and into your personal power center, which is below your heart and above your navel.

Thank Michael, Raphael and St. Germain.

When we continue to think about our past relationships too much the cords we cut can re-attach. So when you catch yourself thinking about them, stop yourself, say “Cancel, clear, delete” and then quickly replace the thought or image with something positive, like a positive current or future relationship, or anything that feels good to you.

NB: I am Angel Intuitive taught by Doreen Virtue and this Exercise is adapted from the teachings – http://www.angeltherapy.com

National Campaign for Sustainable Beauty

The Sustainable Beauty Campaign is about redefining and rewriting the ideals of beauty. Its job is to empower women and encourage them to connect with their spirit so that they can be more accepting of who they are.  Blaming the media will never fix the self-images women have of themselves. Our society is riddled with anti-media campaigns, the same story is rehashed and replayed over and over again “The media is causing women to have a negative body image”. People have been campaigning against this for years and nothing is changing, the truth is that the media is just a reflection of society. We need a fresh approach, instead of blaming the media or anything else outside of ourselves, we need to get to the real root of the problem. And the real reason that women are drowning in a negative body image is because they have disconnected from themselves – they need to reconnect with their spirit and re-build a strong sense of self. No matter how hard we campaign we can never change the world or other people – so let’s empower ourselves by being more mindful of how we live and think.

We say YES to:

  • Embracing flaws, vulnerabilities and quirky differences. Flaws build character, resilience and strength.
  • Encouraging women that they are perfect just as they are.
  • Diversity and embracing all body types, shapes, sizes, colours and reveling in the beauty of the human spirit.
  • Women empowering themselves by putting themselves first
  • Celebrating the joy of who we are and the journey we have been on
  • Collaborating with others as opposed to competing.
  • Taking a pro-active approach as opposed to a reactive approach
  • Standing up and taking responsibility for our own feelings and perceptions. As a society we tend to blame others for making ourselves feel crap (especially the media) – this has to stop as we will never be able to change the world or other people.
  • Living mindfully and shopping consciously. Living with intent heals the body and mind, if one is making ethical choices on a daily basis it feels good on both a spiritual and cellular level.
  • Products that have been made ethically and have not negatively impacted the environment or the well-being of another.
  • Natural and non-toxic products

CAMPAIGN PROJECTS:

  • Beauty Awareness Campaign:- A 6 month Beauty awareness campaign on Zenspiration.org where one woman is photographed without make-up each week in a nature environment that emphasises her natural beauty. The aim of the photo shoot is to inspire a more positive self-esteem with women. Each photo will capture the woman’s spirit and showcase raw and authentic beauty.
  • National Day for Sustainable Beauty:- We have created a sustainable beauty day where we inspire people to look for beauty in the most common of places. We ask people to take a photo of something they find naturally beautiful, they then need to upload the picture to social media using the #sustainablebeautyday
  •  Sydney Event:– Host a free weekend event in Sydney (if we get a positive response we would love to take the event to all Australian cities) to raise awareness for Sustainable beauty.
  • Photo Book:- Publish a photo book that encourages consumers to shop ethical and local for their beauty products by gently making them aware of the current issues within the industry – such as unethical practices, animal testing and harsh chemicals. The book will also be filled with photographs and stories of women who have empowered themselves plus be brimming with natural DIY beauty recipes. All profits will be going towards the charity that we collaborate with.
  • Fundraising Programs:- Collaborating with a non-profit organisation who run fundraising programs to help empower women, support Fair Trade and encourage a shop local ethos. All profits from this campaign will go towards the charity that we collaborate with. We will work with the charity that we collaborate with to cross-promote. To get their audience engaged we propose to offer the charity a free 60 page ebook on sustainable beauty – it will be a mini version of the final product.We will give out free copies of our book to bloggers and members of the media to read and review.

Referenced from Campaign Organiser – Claire Charters – More info can be found at – http://www.zenspiration.org/green-beauty/sustainable-beauty-day-november-24th/.

WANT TO BE PART OF THE CAMPAIGN AND HELP US REDEFINE BEAUTY? If you are interested in being part of the project please contact me via Facebook or email EJ@LoveAngelsGlobal.com.

ARE YOU A WOMAN WHO HAS CONNECTED TO HER SPIRIT AND FOUND HER INNER BEAUTY? As part of the project we are looking for women to share their story and be interviewed and photographed in their natural beauty (with no make up) amongst natural landscapes. Each week the campaign will share one woman’s story with their photos and story. It is important that you are in alignment with our message and be on the path of accepting yourself just the way you are and self-love. The photos collectively be made into a book with proceeds going back into the community.  This may possibly also be turned into a set of Oracle Cards with each woman’s spirit and energy connecting to their card.

ARE YOU A PHOTOGRAPHER WHO IS CONNECTED TO THEIR SPIRIT? If you feel you are a good fit for this campaign and would love to volunteer your time and skills to help, I would love to hear from you. It is important that everyone involved in the project aligns and believes in the message and what we are trying to capture with natural beauty. This is a fabulous opportunity to help share this message with the world! All photographers will be referenced throughout the publicity and marketing of the campaign as well as in any photo publications.

ARE YOU A PASSIONATE SPIRITUALLY CONNECTED BUSINESS OWNER ? We are looking for businesses to sponsor this campaign. All sponsors will be mentioned throughout the publicity and marketing of the campaign. This is a fantastic chance to align yourself with a strong message for women globally. You can have a look at the full project and sponsorship details here http://www.zenspiration.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/sustainablebeautyprojectplan.pdf

If you have any further questions please feel free to contact me via Facebook or email EJ@LoveAngelsGlobal.com.

With Love and Blessings,

 

EJ Love Angel

Ambassador for Sustainable Beauty

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This entry was posted on June 1, 2014. 1 Comment

I’m not looking for a Fairytale, I want real – real honesty, real life, real love.

‘I’M NOT LOOKING FOR A FAIRY-TALE’.

I don’t need a prince to sweep me off my feet, I want a man who sees my strength and encourages me to stand and press forward, even when life is challenging.

I’m not looking to be awoken from my slumber with a long awaited kiss, I just want to know that I’m with a man whose affection is committed.

I don’t need a knight to charge in and save the day, but I do want a partner who will take time to listen and to hold me when I feel sad or scared.

I don’t believe in “Happily Ever After,” but I won’t settle for less than a relationship with someone committed to work through the challenges, someone who refuses to let a day pass with something left unsaid or a situation left unresolved.

I’m not looking for someone who can take me away and hand me a fantasy, I want a man who is inspired to join me right where I am.

My hero is a man who maintains his sense of humor when things are uncomfortable. My knight is someone who stands for the courage of his convictions. My prince is the one who pays attention to the little things and remembers the details that really matter to me.

My champion is the man who believes in me so much that he cheers for me, even if I attempt the impossible. My strongman is the one with the dignity and graciousness to never make me feel ‘wrong.’

I’m not interested in the illusion of perfection, because I know it’s an offer neither of us can deliver. What I want is a partnership where we’ve got each other’s backs, no matter what the world throws at us.

I don’t want a fantasy. I want real – real honest, real life, real love.

Healing my Dad Cured his Depression & Prevented Suicide

I’ve been waiting for the right time to post this video as it is something very close to my heart. Today as I spend the day with my Dad, Max Love, we can easily talk about his depression and now share with others the story of his healing journey. In January 2010 he was diagnosed with depression and tried to commit suicide twice.  Two months later he cured his depression in just 2 hours through healing. I am so proud to be able share his story in this video.

He says that by doing the following, as he did, he believes it is entirely possible to cure depression:-

1.      Learn the Truth About Depression

2.      Have the willingness to want to change and get out of it

3.      Have a facilitated healing

4.      Release the emotions

5.      Continue to work on your healing, use prayer and develop your relationship to God (or that which you connect to ie Buddha, Angels, your higher self, Source, the Creator of all that is)

After learning the truth about depression from my Dad and also going through my own healing transformation, I knew that my purpose was to help others to feel the love from within, to feel worthy and have self-acceptance.

I would love to hear from anyone who is going through depression or any problems that stem from lack of self-love. You can start your healing journey now by following my 7 Steps in 7 Days to Self-Love. I am contactable via email as EJ@loveangelsglobal.com and Facebook: www.facebook.com/EJLoveAngel. I also have a ‘Soul Sistas’ facebook support group, please private message my facebook page if you would like to join.

With Love and Blessings,

EJ Love and Max Love
xoxo

Her last Goodbye was her greatest lesson given to me

Today I said goodbye to my Nana as we buried her Ashes at her local Church next to my Grandad who had passed a number of years earlier. She was well respected within the community for the generous work she did and kindness and joy in her heart that rubbed off on everyone around her. She taught me so many things and she would always tell her stories in great detail and before you knew it hours had passed! At some points I would want to say ‘Nana, I don’t need to know every little detail, just the important parts!’. But all us grandchildren learned to listen and always thought she had a fantastic memory!

The last few years of her life she had to go into a home as she became a lot slower in her day to day life and needed more help. Her memories started to fade and she was diagnosed with dementia. The last time I saw her she couldn’t remember who I was. Part of me was sad for her but as we got talking more and more, we brought out the photo albums and memories would start coming back to her. I would have to remind her a number of times who was who and exactly what happened and fortunately thanks to her detailed stories I could easily refresh her memory! Then I really noticed something and this was the biggest lesson came from… I noticed how ‘PRESENT’ she was. Now having dementia means you can’t think about the past simply because you don’t remember it and you really can’t think about what you are going to do in the future because you won’t remember what you plan to do. You are forced to live in the moment because that is all you really have!

At first I felt sad for her being at that home because I knew how she loved being independent and having her own garden to look after. But as we walked the halls of the  home she proudly introduced me to all her friends there..quite a few times! I really felt like I was getting the royal treatment! One lady said to me ‘Your Nana, she’s the really smiley one around here, can’t take it off her face, we love her!’. That made me feel so happy for her! Then we walked outside to the gardens and she pointed out the roses and how beautiful they were… like she was seeing them for the first time. People would pop past the room and my Nana would say ‘Gosh, it’s so interesting around here, always new people popping by to say Hello!’. It was like she was seeing things for the first time everyday and she didn’t think about what she had back when she lived at her own home or what she might be missing out on. She lived right there in the present moment because she was so grateful for it. And in those moments when she was present with me like this… I was present with her…hanging on to her every word.  I didn’t want her to stop going into detail but I helped her with the detail…joining in on the story and those moments with her. I thought that this is how people should be all the time with others…listening and sharing and being present. Then it dawned on me that the reason why she always knew so much in detail is because she was present all the time and appreciating it all and sharing that with us was in fact a gift!

In this day and age with technology it is so easy for us to get distracted and I realised you can miss out on so much of what is right in front of you. You really don’t know what you have got until it’s gone…what we would give to hear those stories one or ten more times! So Nana, even though you never knew you taught me this, thank you for the lesson and those final present moments we shared. When I think of you now I will always remember to look at what is right in front of me…just the way you did Nana Zeta…with love 🙂

 

Living in the Present

Nana Zeta – Always Living in the Present

 

My Mantra – A Message from my 19 Yr Old Self

I wrote this when I was just 19 and there are only a few things I would change here now if I was to write it again, but I want to leave it exactly the way it is as I can see my heart was definitely in the right place.

As I read it today, I feel inspired as though I am being taught something by my younger self.

When you feel like no one cares

Or that you don’t matter anymore

Remember to stop and think about who you are

Look back on your life so far and what you’ve achieved

If you’ve shown one smile, one laugh, one cry then you’ve felt real joy

If you’ve hurt, apologised, forgiven, then you’ve become a better person

Life is about learning, we are all given lessons

It’s whether we realise their meaning and how we use it that matters

Don’t be scared to be different from the crowd

otherwise one day you’ll realise you’re exactly like everyone else and wish you weren’t

Don’t ever hold back from your desires,

take risks, make memories, live everyday as though it is your last

Do something crazy once in a while, get out of your comfort zone

Don’t be afraid of change, it makes life interesting

Be happy and positive in everything you do, things can always get better

Always have fun, as long as you’re not hurting anyone

See the good in everything around you, attitude is the key to happiness

Respect yourself and respect others

You must give respect, to get respect

Just like love, you must give love to receive it

And you must love and respect yourself, before you can love and respect others

Believe in yourself, not who other people perceive you to be

or who society pressures you to be

Don’t ever feel judged, judgement is denying yourself of who you really are

Do things because you believe in them, not because someone else does

Don’t worry about what people think, in the end it doesn’t really matter

The only people that really matter are the ones you love, your real friends, your family

because they are the ones that really know you and love you for just being you

Do unto others as you would to them, what comes around really does go around

Have faith in not only yourself, but other people, you may lose sometimes, but you’ll gain more in the end

Trust, trust your intuition, most of the time it’s right

Never let anyone change or shutdown your morals or values, they are your honest beliefs,

so stick to them, everyone has a right to their own opinion and everyone has a right to their own beliefs

When you feel like nothing is going your way, know that everything happens for a reason

good and bad, if we look back nothing is every really as bad as we thought it was at the time

Love your family, love your friends, they’re the ones that will be there for you no matter what

Smile, laugh, cry all at once, one day you’ll regret that you hadn’t

Love, love, love. Love is the most beautiful unexplainable emotion,

Love really does conquer all, believe this and you will get through anything

Give your heart, soul and all to someone,

you may get hurt, but that’s a risk that’s always worth taking

Don’t ever give up on your dreams or yourself

Remember to push the limits, test the waters, step over the boundaries

Nothing is too great or too small or beyond your reach

Be real, be genuine and true to yourself

Always dance to your own beat as that’s the one that keeps you alive

And finally and most importantly…when you figure out who you are

FALL IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF